February 2012
9 posts
1 tag
Freak Show
                        Come one, come all! Feast your eyes on God’s mistakes, as he intended and for your entertainment, because he’s real sick in the head! Those who are ill at stomach must look away, or be subject to lose of lunch or snacks! BE AMAZED by spectacles that breathe air and have feelings like you or I! What, too lazy of bone to see for yourself? Then READ ...
Feb 29th
8 notes
2 tags
Feb 24th
8 notes
3 tags
"Lilyhammer" Spinoffs
GUYS. Lilyhammer. It’s on the tip of everyone’s tongue. When’s the last time you thought about anything else but Lilyhammer aside from breathing? Bruce Soprano and the E-Street Band’s own Little Steven Van Zandt stars in Netflix’s first original series as a New York gangster in Norway? NO(r)WAY. Talk about a fish of water, or should I say, a New York gangster out of...
Feb 22nd
1 note
2 tags
I Won An Award
Hi everyone! This is me speaking to you as the real person I am, not the guy who normally posts the things that I tend to post on here. I only have so long before I transform back into that monster, so please let me humor you with a little SELF-PROMOTION. A few months ago, I wrote a spec script (industry talk for “fake script normies write”) for the show Bob’s Burgers on Fox....
Feb 20th
11 notes
2 tags
Tips On How To Have A Perfect Valentine's Day If...
As you pick her up, tell her that this is the first Valentine’s Day you haven’t spent alone in a very long time. She understands. She’ll tell you a guy hasn’t made a pass on her in what seems like forever. You’re confused. How could they not? How are you lucky enough to be the first? Decide ahead of time where you’d like to spend the evening. Maybe somewhere...
Feb 14th
16 notes
2 tags
Feb 11th
2 notes
Feb 7th
168 notes
2 tags
A Reimagining of William Inge's "Picnic" If It...
SCENE The action of the play takes place during brunch at a small diner somewhere in Kansas. ACT I At Brunch, late morning. ACT II Same day, at Brunch, later morning/earlier afternoon. ACT III Same day, at Brunch, early afternoon. BRUNCH ACT I The cast of characters from PICNIC (Helen Potts, Hal Carter, Millie Owens, Bomber, Madge Owens,  Flo Owens, Rosemary Sydney, Alan Seymour, Irma...
Feb 3rd
4 notes
Paul F. Tompkins: Hubris!: FREE COMEDY TIME! →
paulftompkins: Tompkastaways! Superegotists! You have two chances to hear me today! The Pod F. Tompkast, Episode 15: The Origins of The Potter’s Field. The Great Undiscovered Project Brings You The Boss of Cakes and a Washer of Brains. From The Paul F. Tompkins Show: Advice To The Probably Dead,…
Feb 2nd
41 notes
2 tags
BREAKING NEWS
Feb 1st
2 notes
January 2012
7 posts
4 tags
Review: HBO's "Horse Sopranos"
HBO’s newest series “Horse Sopranos” premiered last night at 9 P.M. Eastern. This is a review of the pilot. I was absolutely blown away by the premiere of “Horse Sopranos”, another knockout from the network that brought us “Regular Sopranos” and “Actors Wearing 1920’s Clothes.” There’s nothing else quite like it on network...
Jan 30th
9 notes
2 tags
Hollywood: The Land of 100 Movies
Hollywood! Tinsel Town! Tinsel Burgh! No matter what you call it, there’s just no hiding what this crazy town is known as: the land of 100 movies. I’m sure you have a favorite movie. Or several (but no more than that). But did you know that of the 100 movies that have been made throughout history, all of them have been made in Hollywood? It’s true! It’s a point of pride...
Jan 26th
41 notes
1 tag
BREAKING NEWS
Jan 20th
4 notes
2 tags
Recipe
Ingredients 2 Butters 8 Plucked Wings From Something 1 Soured Cream 4 Sacks of Hemoglobin 2 Cups of Pickled Sand 1/2 Tablespoon Ox Sweat 1 Teaspoon Pinched Nerve 1/4 Tablespoon Peppered Hamburger Fist 7 Large or Larger Decagons A Rosary Made of Rock Salt Relief From the Burden of Sin Directions I’m sorry.
Jan 17th
53 notes
1 tag
My Favorite Foods
Sauteed Bone Goop over Drowning Bit-Lits Chickey Yum-Yum’s with Side Greens and Browns Stick Growths Colorful Shapes Salt
Jan 15th
1 tag
I Have Never Seen Downton Abbey But I'm Assuming...
A sign maker who misspells the word “Downtown” when making a sign for the city of Abbey. A linguist who creates a new word (“Downton”) by combining preexisting words “Downtown” and “Ton.” He lives in the city of Abbey. A woman named Abbey who is known for mispronouncing the word “Downtown” as “Downton.” A man named...
Jan 9th
3 notes
September 2011
1 post
4 tags
An Excerpt from the "Drive" Screenplay
Sep 24th
320 notes