A Reimagining of William Inge’s “Picnic” If It Were Called “Brunch”

SCENE

The action of the play takes place during brunch at a small diner somewhere in Kansas.

ACT I

At Brunch, late morning.

ACT II

Same day, at Brunch, later morning/earlier afternoon.

ACT III

Same day, at Brunch, early afternoon.

BRUNCH

ACT I

The cast of characters from PICNIC (Helen Potts, Hal Carter, Millie Owens, Bomber, Madge Owens,  Flo Owens, Rosemary Sydney, Alan Seymour, Irma Kronkite, Christine Schoenwalder, Howard Beavans) share a booth at a diner. They eat brunch. A Waitress checks up on them from time to time.

EVERYONE. (gobbling/slurping) Brunch!!!

MILLIE. What a good day for a brunch with friends, family, and acquaintances of the two.

MADGE. I’m glad we decided against a picnic, what with all the rain and all.

CHRISTINE. Also, brunch is the most fun meal of the day. Picnics aren’t even a meal time. They’re just outside meals. B-O-R-I-N-G.

HAL. Good thinking, everyone. If we had a picnic instead of brunch, my eggs would have gotten all soggy. And you know what they say…

EVERYONE. Soggy eggs? No thank you!

WAITRESS. (hamming it up for the audience) More coffee, ma’am?

IRMA. (Unreasonably angry) No! Go away!

HELEN. (Sass) Yeah, make like French Toast and get out of town! Back to France!

ALAN. (Sass) Yeah, make like Belgium Waffles and get out of town! Back to Belgium!

BOMBER. (Sass) Yeah, make like a Denver Omelet and get out of town! Back to Denver!

FLO. (Sass) Yeah, make like Huevos Rancheros and get out of town! Back to Mexico!

ROSEMARY. (Sass) Yeah, make like Syrup and get out of town! Back to Canada!

HOWARD. (Sass) Yeah, make like Eggs Benedict and get out of town! Back to Great Britain, which is where Benedict Arnold defected to!

WAITRESS. (leaving) Okay.

EVERYONE. Hurray!!! Back to brunch!!!

They go back to eating brunch without saying another word for the duration of the play.

THE END