Freak Show

Come one, come all! Feast your eyes on God’s mistakes, as he intended and for your entertainment, because he’s real sick in the head! Those who are ill at stomach must look away, or be subject to lose of lunch or snacks! BE AMAZED by spectacles that breathe air and have feelings like you or I! What, too lazy of bone to see for yourself? Then READ TESTIMONIALS from our featured acts:

• Professor Doctor! “Am I professor, or am I a doctor? I’M NOT TOO SURE MYSELF BECAUSE I LOST MY DEGREE.”
• Fisty, The Man With Two Fists! “Sometimes they’re hands, but I can make ‘em fists if I feel like it.”
• Nosey, The Boy Who Has Quite The Sniffer! “*SNIFF* *SNIFF* *SNIFF* I can talk too!”
• Snake Baby, The Baby Snake! “If I could talk, I’d say something like ‘Goo-goo, gah-gah, mice is my milk!’”
• Agnes the Spitting Lady! “Outta my face, or I’ll spit on ya all un-lady like!”
• Geese Man! “A gang of hooligans taped all these geese to my body and I’m too tired to do anything about it!”
• ‘Glass Eyes’ Tommy, Who Carries On Him A Set Of Glass Eyes! “I still have eyes, so there’s no excuse for why I have these!”
• Ricardo, Who At This Point Hasn’t Figured Out What Makes Him a Freak! “I’ll figure it out eventually!”
• Sleepy Sal, The Man Who Naps During Shows! “Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!”
• Petunia, The Woman Who Recently Trimmed Her Disgustingly Long Finger Nails “They used to be much longer, but now they’re quite normal looking and of no particular interest to anyone.”
• And Me, Jimmy The Sign Maker! “I wrote what you’re reading and have horns!”

TONIGHT ONLY! We may even be evicted on arrival for being TOO DISGUSTING. In fact, DO NOT COME UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.